The Beautiful Struggle
Everyday, sometimes moment to moment, I look for hope in the form of a better feeling thought.
I have to. I'm built that way.
I know that every question I ask, gets a hearing an aswer is dispatched. So when no real answers are forthcoming or I feel the darkness descend, I start looking.
I look good for my answers to the unanswerable questions that bounce around my head at night.
I look for reasons to smile before I get up to a new day. I have to. My mindset depends on it and so do my actions.
I look for positivity everywhere.
I look for it like I search for my wallet and or phone, both of which I misplaced often. (yeah, I do). I've made peace with that particular quirk of mine. Ive made peace with a ton of my pieces. Beautiful shards of my interactions with life.
I've found that Hope is never far from me. I celebrate the new skill of redirecting my thoughts and keeping them focused on my goals and intentions. I think of the opportunities I want more of not what I wish to pass out of my experience.
Following a desire to be surrounded by life and rejuvenation when the world had collectively been hijacked and quarantined, I helped start a garden.
This both simple and complex project was a lifesaver for so many reasons. None of which I thought of when presenting the idea.
Post garden, I wake up to excitement, new growth and life.
I tell myself I hear the vegetables groan when the newbies forget to check them. It gives me purpose.
Whether you put a seed in a field or a cup on the window sill, it will become the gift that just keeps on giving.
That's vital when your mind is searching for a better feeling thought.
I'm excited to harvest and share or just sit and stare, I need that win first thing in the morning. It's a free B 12 shot for me in the war on negative thinking.
I sit and meditate while watching the plants grow.
I took pictures of the tiny peppers and tiny squash. Ooohed and ahhhed over the okra plants and the precious asparagus.
Yes I know. I promise I'm not headed to being the strange cat lady in the neighborhood, although, I'd Rock that role. LOL...not really.
Every part of me vibes Thank you!
I'm appreciative of all things great and small s I choose not to live in panic mode or fear mode because, I don't want to.
In the moments I spend with the soil, I heal a little more of me. I've made connections to my past and feel closer to my family history than ever before.
I approach this process of unlearning with JOY because I don't ever want to be in those dark spaces ever again.
I breathe deeply and adjust to make space for new knowledge and understanding of me. I allow myself time to find lessons everywhere! Especially out in nature. It's free therapy!
Question, how long can a good start to a day keep depression or negative thoughts away?
Answer: it varies from person to person. For me the answer is, as long as I am aware, not shut down or anxious.
I try not to leave my space unprepared.
It's that deep for some of us. We are Always on our job. Protecting our precious mental space from intentional and unintentional disruptions in our peace.
Our LIVES, our work, our ART, our NOW depends on this balance, this care that we give ourselves.
THIS IS RADICAL SELF CARE. I MUST DO THIS!
The above picture was taken on a perfect morning and was followed by this simple thought. I'd like to share with you:
Moment to moment
Day to day, I look for hope
This morning, there it sat on a bush
Soiled I tilled and turned good dirt.
What was planted and hidden in the dark soil is speaking volumes to me.
While the world shut down
I planted and waited.
The earth has spoken
And now it's feeding me.
Thank you for supporting my safe space and as always, positive feedback is appreciated.
I would love hear about some of your tools and ways of thriving in this new normal.
Be well and remember, you are not alone. Peace and Purple love,